Hello, g’day, good evening.

After the rollercoaster of episode 2, we here at MTV thought 'damn son there is no way things can get worse,' on Are You The One.

But guess what happened?

YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT, SHI*T GOT BETTER AND WORSE BECAUSE ANOTHER WEEK MEANS MORE PEOPLE HAVE FLIRTED AND THEN REALISED THEY AREN’T A MATCH, MEANING THERE’S MORE BEEF (or tofu, for vegetarians) IN DA HAUS.

Enough of us screaming, let’s fill you in with all the deets.

Firstly, Joey – bless his sweet, garbage man soul – still seems hung up over Carolina. Kari, who showed interest in him last week, even had a go at him, saying all he ever does it talk about Carolina.

To make matters worse, Carolina took a bit of a liking to Ozzy (fine, they hooked up...a lot). THIS IS THE SAME OZZY WHO ONLY LAST WEEK WAS IN LOVE WITH KATHRYN UNTIL THEY WERE PART OF THAT INFAMOUS BLACK OUT.

Speaking of Ozzy and Carolina, they were the couple elected to go into the truth booth. The house were offered to pass from the truth booth in exchange for a bonus $150k to their prize but they risked it for the biscuit.

And, sadly, that biscuit means Carolina and Ozzy can’t get with each other *cue violin music*.

HANG ON DOE COS WE AIN’T DONE WITH THE BEEF.

SH*T REALLY STARTED TO HIT THE FAN WITH TAYLOR AND TYLER. Remember how they seemed really cute last week and then Hayden chose Taylor cos why the f*ck not? Well, Shannon chose Tyler this week, after the two had been flirting.

Shannon also admitted to doing a little more than just kiss Tyler – which pissed off Kari (yeah, that’s her in the pic below) and Taylor. Watch this space ‘cos with four matches this week, we can’t see Tyler and Shannon splitting up any time soon.

You think we’re done with the recap and beef, right?

BUZZ. WRONG. WRONG WRONG WRONG.

Tyranny and Osvaldo look really cute together. Like suuuper cute. Tyranny even told Casandra she wanted to f*ck Osvaldo, so good luck to them cos they’re both f*cking cute.

And, finally, OUTTA nowhere, Kathryn started flirting with Joey and they hooked up.

In the end, there were four matches and more fights than you can poke a stick at. BRB while we heat up our popcorn.

Catch S5 Of Are You The One? Exclusively On MTV Every Monday, 9.30pm 

- John Seroukas

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